Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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