scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
