You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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