I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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