i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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