I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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