My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins