Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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