Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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