check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
