i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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