this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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