He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
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Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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