When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
