He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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