i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize