I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
