Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize