Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
