we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
