some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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