I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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