tell your sister to shave her snatch
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
