I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
