So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
