I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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