well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.