So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE