So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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