Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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