How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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