Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
