those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
