mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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