they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
