long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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