Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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