Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
