Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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