i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
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I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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