Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
