You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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