Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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