The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
