therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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