I love black thongs
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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