i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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