My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
