I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
