hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
