someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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