i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
