a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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