why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
