I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
