She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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