i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
