Dual....:-)
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
