They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
