Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
