ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
