...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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