Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
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You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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