Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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