well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
